Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Could Things Get a Little Worse?

He knows, some how Ryan knows that I like him. I`m not supposed to know this, but I do. I`m not exactly sure why, but it really hurts me to know this. I was a dumb ass & asked him a question then to cover up I said that it was Michelle. He told her that he knows & I've just been sitting here thinking about it. And I've almost been in tears since  10:21, that`s when he asked her if she could keep a secret. I know I`m not supposed to know, but the expressions she made while she was talking to him just let me know. I just wish that someone would like me, as more than a friend. Well I don` even know if anyone reads this, but I really just needed to get this out.  

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder why I can never get a boyfriend.
I always end up falling for someone who is either taken or just wants to be friends.
Last night I hung out with one of my friends who I had not seen in a long time.
I used to be in love with him & somehow it faded into just liking him.
After spending time with him the feelings resurfaced & I find myself in love again.
We talked together, we danced together, we smiled together.
He held me as we danced for most of the night & I felt safe.
He looked into my eyes, & I in his & I couldn`t help but smile.
Upon leaving he gave me multiple hugs & held me for longer than just a friend would.
Here I am today thinking about him happily
That is until I find out that he like the rest has no desire of being more than friends.
He, Scotty has a girlfriend.